You still talk about that person who used to love you as if they are standing right next to you but you won’t make eye contact when they’re in the same room. You said the aftermath of loving is the equivalent to wearing wet socks every day. I say you need to stop thinking so much and start drying your clothes.
When you say something really unkind, when you do something in retaliation your anger increases. You make the other person suffer, and he will try hard to say or to do something back to get relief from his suffering. That is how conflict escalates.